About a year ago I made what I always thought of as an epic blog post. It still holds true. I have no idea what I'm doing in relationships. Or how to even get in one actually. I've thrived on the book, my relationship bible, He's Just Not that Into You. I feel empowered when I read it. Suddenly male behavior makes sense. The book basically tells women, although I think the book can be applied to any gender, to not waste their time on men that are clearly not interested. Why would you want someone who doesn't want you? That's illogical.
I've always tried to make it my mission to live up to this book. I've succeeded in some aspects. I can recognize the signs of someone who is interested and someone who isn't interested. I think. But there's one thing I have not grasped...
Facebook.
He's Just Not that Into You and Facebook came out in the same year. I somehow doubt Greg had the ability to predict the future and know just how easy it is for someone to project their feelings for the world to see to be able to address it in the book. I'm supposed to be classy and instead I'm posting cryptic messages that make men say, "I'm glad I disappeared. That girl is crazy." The only people who should see that side of me is Amy, Josh, and Tommy.
So for that, I'm sorry. This blog post is emotional vomit too, but at least it's honest. Which is all I ever really asked for from anyone else.
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Dear Michal (Meghann),
ReplyDeleteEpic blog post no doubt. You have no idea what you are doing in relationships because your first husband of almost 3,000 years ago was a jerk. He was jealous of you because you were smarter than him academically/intellectually and had better morals than him, although he concedes that outright:) I was very, very unfair with you. I treated you like absolute dog shit and was cruel. Please accept my dearest and most heartfelt apology to you as well as your family.
You loved me dearly (1 Samuel 19) and I took advantage of it with the power trip (2 Samuel 3:14-16) I was on. I didn't consummate our marriage (2 Samuel 6:23) to spite your father. I danced around flamboyantly in the streets to piss you off (2 Samuel 6 even if it was indirectly. By that time the power of being a strong King corrupted me. Abagail was sweet, Bathsheba was something else, but you Michal/Meghann are the one I feel the strongest love for.
You are my favorite and that bias I will always hold near and dear to my heart for the rest of my life. My love for you is never ending and I will do everything in my power to court my lady of long ago. You died a baron woman (2 Samuel 6:23) and I still see and feel some of the hurt you project today. That is my fault and I feel absolutely terrible about it. You are the true heroine, not me. I am nothing more than a fool who gets attention and takes away focus from implementing your divine plan. I am now your biggest supporter either by proxy or in person, you have free will, you choose. I would love to make it up to you somehow as my feelings for you are eternal.
All the jealously and envy I have is rapidly diminishing day by day. I have humbled myself which will be a process I will undergo the rest of my existence. You are my one and only and would love nothing more than to give you the gift you always wanted. Give King Saul my regards as yes, it is his world and maybe he can realize how karmic life is, as the old adage is what goes around comes around, an equal and opposite wheel of existence as souls, no matter how powerful, rich, or famous, we all have feelings and I humbly understand this and want no ones feelings to be hurt no more, especially you Michal/Meghann. I have his ping pong paddle if he wants it back, but we would have to win 2 of 3 matches for that occur in a neutral location wherever that may be. May he understand that for a time in a dangerous and corrupt city that I watched over you and made sure that you were safe, albeit for a short while. I acted as a gentleman and a model citizen with you. What do miserable lawyers talk about? I know that's rhetorical but I do have suggestions. Maybe a game of modified charades over some grub from Portillio's?
Take great care Michal/Meghann and know that you are loved and desired and that you will always have another chance with me, no matter how you feel. 4>2 because you deserve it more than anyone.
Love Always & Shabbat Shalom,
The Man Formerly Known as King David
2nd King Of Israel 1002 B.C-970 B.C.